I hated lingerie. Growing up I was a tomboy. I played rugby, waterpolo and any sport where pure strength was an asset. My parents always told me that I had a great body for sports. My thighs were big, strong and would never tire. I was realistic knowing that if I tried hard, I could play any sport, but as hard as I tried, I would never be a lingerie model. I guess it was fairly natural for me to hate what I couldn’t be. I never wanted to be one of “those girls” or wear those clothes.

For years, I never tried to be sexy. Time passed and my body changed. I had four children in three and a half years. By the time I was done having the kids, I no longer had A sporty body. In fact, I felt like I jiggled when I walked. I stopped shopping and only bought new things when my old clothes ripped. I also stopped feel good around my husband. I was so concerned about my own body that I couldn’t enjoy being with him. If his body changed of course, I would have still loved him. Yet, I was continually shocked that he wanted to be around me and my body. I needed to believe in positive sexuality. I needed to believe that with work relationships could be made better.

There was no place in Calgary where you could go to learn about positively sexuality, so I partnered with Dr. Brian Parker and created A Little More Interesting. I loved my job because every day I got to speak to people about making their sex lives exciting and positive. So many women opened up to me and told me that their biggest problem in the bedroom was that they didn’t feel sexy. If they were young, they compared themselves to the impossible Hollywood body. If they were older, their challenges were often greater as they not only compared themselves to Hollywood, but also to their younger selves. Like me, it meant they couldn’t really enjoy themselves in the bedroom because they were consumed by their negative body image. The funny thing is, I had men walk in the store and their biggest complaint was that their ‘beautiful’ partner couldn’t see her own beauty. She was so consumed by her body that she couldn’t enjoy him or sex.

Time and time again, guys told me that they didn’t want the perfect body. They only wanted their partner to enjoy herself and to believe in her beauty. I started to think about myself. I really was beating up on myself far too much. I started correcting my self-talk. When I started thinking negatively, I forced myself to remember that my body carries me through life but it isn’t my life. I remind myself that my ‘imperfect’ body has given me perfect children and I would give them back even if it meant getting a perfect body. After a while, my positive self talk started to work.

I know my body is far from ‘perfect’ but it has carried me well through the years. I have finally accepted my body for what it is and that gave me permission to be sexy. I was 34 before I put on my first piece of sexy lingerie. I was stunned as to how good I could look and I showed my husband, Brian, my outfit. He had always accepted me, but he was excited to see me feeling good. (Okay, let’s be more honest and blunt, his jaw dropped and he attacked.) This began my love affair with lingerie.

We’ve had lingerie in the store for a little over six month now. I see women physically change when they have the perfect piece of lingerie on. Their faces lights up and they strut through the store. I’ve had women cry because they never thought they’d ever look good in sexy lingerie. I’ve also had my frustrating moments when women are so unhappy with their bodies, they think only surgery can make them look better. Other women sadly just stand there and beat themselves up. I am a true believer that all women are beautiful. I think the media is finally getting that message.

I hope that Pink Ginger Lingerie is a place where all women can come to see their beauty. Allowing yourself to be SEXY is wonderful.