What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing; it also depends on what sort of person you are. -- C. S. Lewis.

This is from A Little More Interestings Blog, but definitely relevant.

I received feedback from someone that she felt she would be judged in my store because she had a good body and was pretty. She also judged me harshly for the words I have said about Brian. I don’t take it lightly and apologize if she feels like she would be judged. It was never my intent to make anyone feel judged.

I have been very outspoken on accepting your body as it comes. I have done my best to get through what Brian did to me and my kids.

We do spend a lot of time in here, and more often in Pink Ginger, talking about judgment.

The fact is, while we try our best to accept people for who they are and what they do, we do judge. We are human. I’ve found myself judging people not on their bodies, sex, preferences etc. but on their attitude. I tend to like positive people. I tend to dislike those who treat me or the staff like crap. I find myself feeling sorry for those who pick their bodies apart or make comments about those who are too fat or too thin.

When I feed badly, admittedly, my defenses go up and I do find myself judging. I catch myself and try to identify with them as opposed to judge them. I always keep in mind this quote:

It's not a slam at you when people are rude, it's a slam at the people they've met before. - F. Scott Fitzgerald

I take that quote further. I realize that any glimpse I see of anyone is just a moment in time. I have no idea what life they’ve lead. I can’t judge anyone because I haven’t walked in their shoes.

That all being said, we talk in Pink Ginger about not caring what the world says. We talk about being comfortable in your own skin. We all come in different shapes and sizes and, if we focus on how the world is judging us, we would be consumed.

I am far from perfect. At one time in my life, I did very much care how people viewed me. I don’t anymore. I don’t have time for that and it never puts me in a positive place.

I walk this earth doing the best I can with the tools I’ve been given. (Forgiving myself for not being perfect has been one of my biggest challenges.) If someone feels the need to judge me for my body, for Brian and my relationship, for what I say / don’t say etc., then that’s okay. Everyone is welcome to their opinion. However:

Be assured that if you knew all, you would pardon all.

-- Thomas A. Kempis.

My New Underwear is Rags

I’ve blogged before that my pup is eating my underwear. More than a week ago, I grabbed some new underwear from Pink Ginger and was in love. I felt sexy.

I felt so sexy that the next time I was in the mall, I bought more underwear. A big mall lingerie chain had a sale on: 10 pair for $25. Wow, what a deal, I thought. I can’t even come anywhere close to that when I buy my underwear at cost. This is my lucky day!

My twin 5 year old boys helped me pick out the prettiest underwear. “Mommy, you’ll look so pretty in these but do they have any with StarWars characters on them?” (No, they didn’t but if they did, that would probably turn on Brian beyond belief!)

I bought ten pair of underwear. I took them home and washed them immediately. (My nanny has a firm belief that they put so many chemicals on clothing that she won’t allow anyone to wear clothing before it has been washed.) I was so sad when I pulled my new underwear out of the wash. It wasn’t quite rags, but it certainly didn’t look anything like it did when I first bought it.

I’ve been buying my underwear in here for a while now and most of it, the ones the dog hasn’t eaten, still look good. I talk about quality all the time, and I hear from people that the L stores don’t have good quality, but I had to really try it for myself.

I’m not out to knock those stores. They provide an okay product at an okay price. I get that not everyone wants to pay $6 - $32 on underwear. However, after my recent experience, I won’t do the cheap thing again. It just isn’t worth it for me.

My sexy went to sad. The good news is that I now have ‘period panties’ again.